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This page was translated from the German original, partly by machine. Some passages may read awkwardly or contain inaccuracies. When in doubt, please read the original.

The Language Game of Understanding

Understanding: from a simple speech act to a complex language game​

In understanding we must make an important distinction: between the simple speech act of understanding ("I understand what you're saying") and the complex language game of understanding as a social practice.

As a simple speech act, understanding means merely the cognitive grasping of an utterance: we hear words, know their meanings and grasp their syntactic structure. This is a technical, almost mechanical process — comparable to a computer that "understands" a programming language. The speech act of understanding is binary: either one understands the words or one does not.

As a language game, by contrast, understanding is a many-layered, interactive process that goes far beyond the mere grasping of word meanings. It comprises cultural contexts, implicit assumptions, emotional components, recognition of intention and the joint construction of meaning between conversation partners. The language game of understanding is gradual, contextual and dynamic — a constant negotiating and matching of meanings.

Real-life examples​

The language game of understanding shows itself in manifold situations: the therapist who supports a patient through empathic understanding; the mediator who mediates between hardened positions; the intercultural encounter in which, despite shared word meanings, different value systems must be translated; the literature circle that jointly unlocks the deeper meanings of a novel; the couple who, after a conflict, arrive at a "we understand each other again"; the teacher who recognizes why a pupil does not grasp a matter; or the diplomat who reads between the lines what his counterpart actually wants to say.

What it aims at​

The language game of understanding aims at building bridges between different worlds of consciousness. Unlike mere hearing or perceiving, it is about unlocking the sense behind the words, the subjective meaning for the other. Understanding strives to take over temporarily the world-perspective of another person, to follow their premises and to grasp their utterances in their full context. In a deeper sense, understanding aims at overcoming foreignness and establishing commonality — without thereby erasing the differences between one's own and the other's standpoint.

Success criteria​

A successful understanding is marked by the fact that:

  • The one understanding can follow what is said also from the perspective of the speaker
  • The intention behind a statement is grasped, not just its literal content
  • Implicit assumptions and unspoken presuppositions are thought along with it
  • The emotional content and the depth of meaning of an utterance are grasped
  • The cultural and biographical contexts are taken into account
  • The one understanding is able to render what has been understood in their own words
  • A shared space of meaning arises between those communicating

Unlike the speech act, the language game is not about the question "understood or not understood?", but about the depth, quality and nuance of the understanding.

How it can go wrong​

Understanding can fail in various ways:

  • Through projection of one's own assumptions and values onto the statements of the other
  • Through selective perception that takes in only what fits one's own worldview
  • Through too quick a "I already know what you want to say" instead of genuine listening
  • Through ignoring cultural or contextual differences
  • Through too literal an understanding of metaphorical or ironic speech
  • Through the lack of relevant background knowledge or shared points of reference
  • Through emotional barriers that prevent an open taking-in of foreign perspectives

The fundamental error often consists in believing one has understood, while one has actually only confirmed one's own presuppositions.

How it is abused​

The language game of understanding can be instrumentalized:

  • Through a feigned understanding in order to gain trust ("I understand you completely")
  • Through selective understanding that takes up only what serves one's own agenda
  • Through overstretched interpretation that imputes words or intentions to the other
  • Through tactical misunderstanding in order to evade unpleasant consequences
  • Through "understanding to death", in which apparently deep understanding suppresses critical follow-up questions
  • Through cultural appropriation, in which foreign concepts are taken over without their original context
  • Through manipulative "more-understanding" — the claim to understand the other better than they understand themselves

Especially problematic is the instrumentalization of "I understand you" in order to suggest a false closeness or to undermine the other in their authenticity.

Social role​

Understanding fulfils essential social functions:

  • It forms the basis for successful cooperation and community-building
  • It enables the integration of different perspectives into a more complex overall view
  • It creates emotional connections through shared meanings and empathy
  • It supports conflict resolution through grasping the motivations of both sides
  • It promotes personal and cultural growth through the encounter with the foreign
  • It protects against one-sidedness and dogmatism through a plurality of perspectives
  • It is the precondition for forming shared constructions of reality

In a pluralistic and globalized world, the language game of understanding becomes a key competence for successful coexistence. It remains, however, always a paradoxical challenge: despite all efforts we can never fully step into another's shoes — and precisely this awareness of incompleteness belongs to true understanding.